behind a smile

Behind her smile is a million pieces
breaking breaking
shattered once again
the daddy is now gone
She is all alone
Breaking breaking
Crying out
In a room full of people she is all alone

Mommy says rest your head

But she now has vanished too

She has fallen to the floor

Dreaming of the day someone once again knows her

Not just the pretty face but knows her deep down to her core

More than just a sweet memory, more than just in passing by

More than just another check off the list

She is breaking breaking, all that's left to do is cry
Love me, love me
Please hold  her, you can hear her say without her saying a word

"Will you be the the one to pick up all the little pieces off the floor?"
Wondering if her prince will save her tonight as she cries out to her Lord.



Once made him smile, when all she had was a smile to share back
Now that grief takes up the majority of emotion inside
Will he save her, does he even know how?
Breaking breaking on the cold wet floor
She feels all alone, just asking for someone to notice her
Love her love her
She is breaking,suffocating,as she screams on the inside, save me, please God just open the door.

Why are you looking at her this way?

she can't fake the emotions festering deep inside

All she wants is  out of the misery of missing the ones that knew her best
She for sure thought she had at least another ten years left

Why can't her little ones see who she use to be

It is not even the same outlook or plans, but it got buried with them in the dirt.

She use to be more carefree, the world was good, it just wasn't supposed to be

Not this cruel, not this unjust, why did God take away her angel here on Earth?

She use to get in the floor and not ball up but actually toss around her kids and play.

Her laugh sounded different, her dreams so big and full,
She knew how much she had believed in her,her little baby girl.
Just like she knew one day her baby girl would give back.
She was just like her nanny, hated to break any rules,she longs to be like her, for little did she lack.

Now her husband looks at her, wondering what kind of woman is left behind
The one she always cherished was taken from them both.
They do all that they know is left to do
They can hear her whisper the truth of the Word
Seek thee first the kingdom of God,and then my child you will find.

Something at last shines through the cold on the floor
It glows until the lost girl sees it reflecting ever so contently than before
He takes her hand and takes the first step
All because Christ came and said you now have life for I have paid your debt.

The door is open just waiting for her to walk this way
This life is too sorrowful and painful
I can't bear to watch her do it alone, a price much to great to pay.
No one here promised forever to her, and then God says "But just wait there is more."
The devil just uses fear to let it get to all
He is defeated just keep reading
All will see Heaven at last shut its two pearl doors

It's like she can hear Jesus saying "No one could ever prepare for this, not even your angel on Earth.
Yes this life is very hard and difficult not too many clues
Be thankful for every little blessing they both had with you.
From the first day of school to your college degree,
then how beautiful I waited paiently,letting her, your Angel there see all three of your babies births.

What more could you ask of me
I waited and waited but couldn't bear to see her suffer silently anymore
It wasn't sickness like cancer or a tragic accident,I just called her by name.
For,she deserved mercy, for you know better than anyone she had never thought of herself, not even close.
So I,her Savior, took a hold of her hand during that final ball game
I wiped her tears off the floor
I told her of all the good things about to happen

I shared then that her very own child would finally shut the evil door
How beautiful of a gift,she learned in those final moments that the walk of her child's painful life of drugs and alcohol was no more
She said, "O Jesus I knew you were always there listening to me and my husband pray.
For all these years we just wanted our family together
We just didn't know how to get everyone else off the floor
You are the only one true savior
I raise my hands, high, to thee
I bow down before you; my God you are so good to me
Just keep watch of my little precious ones below; for I was always fearful that they couldn't do it without me.

Then its like she hears her say to her,the child she left behind "Now precious one, just listen to me in your heart
I taught you what to do; you just didn't think you would have to lean on his understanding just yet
Leave and cleave is what the word says, I know it is hard to part.
For that is why you are on the cold floor tonight, you feel like all you can do is cry and fret.
I held on maybe a little too tight,I leaned on you to cope
I just never expected such a short stay
I thought I had plenty of time, to keep teaching you the ropes
Never dreaming I only had three weeks with your last little one to the day

I always said one day we will get to have lots of fun
That was my plan and obviously not his
For as you can see who won
For now it is me standing tall with eternal love
I know u can't see me as I am holding this sweet little angel
Better known as miss summer Nicole
She still smells just like I remember
Perfect in every way
Jesus kept her extra warm
My third little grandchild is at last in my arms
And now my Daddy that I had on earth is at last seeing this sweet day
O I can't wait for you to get here but as you can see there is still so much work to be done
He will pick up each tear for you off the floor and fit your pieces all back together one by one
We will be together  again
He sees you brookiedoodle, you can count on that
You aren't just another face to him
He is there for every moment, time for a new life without me,
All you do is lean on him, and your new life will begin

Not the way you always saw before
Colors will always appear a little different I guess but it just takes a new outlook
It gives new perspective for what the rat race here is all really about
It all rest on knowing him for sure

Reading what his promises are, in the word of God, the Bible will always be the most powerful book. and only life source that makes this world tolerable for what he took.
It is the one truth I read to you over and over again
I always said it was the answers to all, all you could ever need to know right there before you, if you want to live fulfilled then all you have to do is one simple step never shut it,then pass it on to your ken
Keep turning its pages for it isn't just another good read for
it is the only thing that can truly help you up when you are so low
The only life source that makes this world tolerable for he knows like no other the pain you are feeling for what he took. "

I can now walk this road without you Nanny, for you taught me how to handle pain and suffering..I can do all things through Christ who strengthes me. Everything I could possibly need, right there in your very own Word

I decide in that sweet moment in time, to let the past just be the past, I will keep fighting the fight for his Kingdom and all that it represents within
For the answers were always right there, God lets us hit the bottom sometimes as a reality that we can't walk the walk alone
I stop crying to catch a breath to slow down and process all that my heart just heard

He has laid out the future and how to take each and ever step

I was blessed with the greatest gift of all. Because of YOU I see the light, for I am now free, all because Jesus is the one that saved me, He is the giver of life,the one that paid my debt.